beta_vulgaris

Pain play is a core element of my kink practice. As I have gained experiences with different kinds of pain and different partners and scenes, I've learned a lot about myself, about pain processing, and about the emotional and physical takeaways I get from it.

( Pain processing & visualization )

Animal play is one of those kinks that I have that I was kind of embarrassed about exploring at first. I'm still a bit reticent about it mostly because it has such a bad rep and it's such a comforting kink for me that I don't like feeling defensive about it, even moreso than other kinks.

( Puppy play and what it is to me. )

I spent hours this morning looking at rope reference, and I started a Pinterest to collect the images (many are not safe for work).

If anyone has recs for good rope bondage tumblrs or pics, particularly any that feature genderqueer people, plus-size models, models of color, or in-progress ropework photography, please link me!

I really enjoyed running across Kinky Clover's work, too. It's cool to see a bondage model and photographer do such stunning work.

In appreciation of really great bruises, here is a post.

( Some talk of impact play and consensual masochism and an appreciation of bruising. No pictures. )

I've been in a pretty exciting learning mode for the past several months, thanks to a confluence of events that has me feeling more confident to explore interests on the topping end of things.

(I know, I am getting behind on Kinky November. It might end up being Kinky November-and-a-half... sorry.)

( A few thoughts on learning to top, and what 'topping' means to me )

I picked this up on a trip to the Tool Shed in Milwaukee a couple of days ago.

Cover of Playing with Disabilities, image of an assistive device for a leg, wearing a black stiletto, and with a small dominatrix doll coming out of a compartment in the leg

Cover of Playing with Disabilities, image of an assistive device for a leg, wearing a black stiletto, and with a small dominatrix doll coming out of a compartment in the leg

Power Exchange Books: Playing with Disabilities ed. Robert J Rubel & Angela Stassinopoulos

I read this book in one sitting. It's a collection of short personal essays and a couple of pieces of fiction from BDSMers with a variety of disabilites, and it comes off as rather light. This series was originally a magazine, with the editor choosing eventually to publish in book form to give the work a bit more permanence.

The range of voices is well-chosen in this book, particularly in terms of disability, and centers the voices of people with disabilities over abled people (with one exception, when the husband of a person with DID/MPD discusses the needs of his wife's various alters and the way they work with her alters to have satisfying BDSM in their lives).

Much of the book is full of practical, personal-life advice aimed at kinksters. I felt that some wider context of disability activism and social movements could have helped this book, or at least placed it beyond the personal experience. The book is published in 2007 and consists of some reprints from the magazine, so the contents feel dated in some ways. I hesitate to fully criticize the individual authors for their work as each is so personal about their journey, that even when I read something that I might call out as inapporpriate if a person without disabilities said it, I felt that it was part of this individual's honest lived experience and perspective and I think there is great value in people having an in-group space to share their stories without feeling they must self-censor for the cause.

Some of the entries made me raise my eyebrow (the Deaf person who explicitly uses her lack of hearing to seduce people, and partners who threw her hearing aids across the room during scenes with little regard to their expense and without prior negotiation about removing them, but it's presented as a positive in that she found the vulnerability of that scene enhanced her enjoyment?). Others made me nod my head--the submissive who experiences panic attacks and the ways he and his Dommes have communicated about them and worked through them.

I think this series seems to have a strong focus on service and master/slave identities, which interested me particularly in terms of submissives and dominants incorporating changing ability status into their protocols.

In general this is a nice collection of personal experiences, none of which I found particularly brilliant in terms of writing, but all of which felt very honest to that person's place on their journey. For that reason I found it interesting, and there certainly were some pieces that gave good advice based in an individual's experience. I would have liked some stronger writing and analysis, but ultimately I think this book has enough honest integrity that I am glad it exists.

I didn't find time to post yesterday, unfortunately! I'll try to play catch-up today.

Kinky Fanvids!

Today I am reccing some kinky fanvids. For anyone not familiar with fandom, fanvids are clips from media sources set to music (the definitions of 'media sources' and 'music' may be broad).

Because of the nature of fanvids, which reappropriate visual source that, often, does NOT have an explicitly kinky context, there's a certain amount of constraint and interpretation that goes into constructing the kink by balancing image and audio cues. Fanvidders often become adept at using this audiovisual language to construct new contexts and tell stories in ways that the source's creators might not have imagined or meant. I'm not a vid expert by any means, but I do appreciate them and I particularly enjoy the work that goes into bringing kink out in the following vids.

This is an absolutely partial and incomplete list of kinky vids I recommend! I haven't been keeping up enough with more recent trends in vidding, so I would appreciate any recs people have particularly for recent kinky vids.

A great and more complete reclist of kinky vids than this, from which I borrow heavily, was compiled by

thingswithwings.

If you like what you see, please consider dropping a nice comment to the creator!

A Pervert Is A Person In Your Neighborhood by

theleaveswant. Multi source vid, multiple kinks represented. Snarky and funny and sweet, this one makes me smile a lot because it's definitely remarking upon a real thing I sometimes get awkward about in life.

Trembling Heart by

thingswithwings, Dottie Gets Spanked, spanking. This one is about a young child's intense fixation on a tv actress, particularly a scene where she gets spanked. I have a lot of feelings about it as a proto-kink realization/behavior story. The child gets grief from a parent in this, by way of a warning.

Can't Touch This by

bitter_crimson, Pushing Daisies, sensory deprivation. In the canon, these two characters want each other but if they physically touch, one of them will die. They work around that! Again, a funny, great vid that kind of gets me in my denial place :)

Hands by

newkidfan, Stargate: Atlantis, hand kink. This one is short but the fetish fixation is SO apparent.

Poison by Scape Sisters. Farscape, Crichton/Scorpius. So full of leather outfits and angry painplay/bloodkink/bondage and D/s overtones.

Where I end (and you begin) by

penthesilea, Punish Me, femdom. A friend of mine sat me down to watch this movie and it is beautiful, one of my favorite kink movies out there, and this vid does it such justice.

Sweet the Sting by

isagel, Gilda, kink negotiation/painplay/D/s. This is a great example of a vidder bringing out a kink interpretation from source that (probably?) wasn't trying to go there. I love the way the song lyrics and the clips of talking emphasize negotiation and communication.

a lieutenant colonel is being beaten by

thingswithwings, Stargate:Atlantis, John Sheppard's masochism. Really,

thingswithwings has a LOT of great kinky vids, but I restricted myself to two for this rec list. This is one of my core favorites, highlighting the beauty of John Sheppard's, well, masochism.

I recently had a good friend ask me for suggestions about where/how to get good starter rope. I... wrote her a novel-length email in response. I had a lot of feelings, okay? I have rewritten and expanded that email for today's post.

Disclaimer: as with all of these posts, this is personal opinion/advice based on my experiences, and other people have wildly different preferences!

( Rooooooooooope! )

Today I'm going to highlight a specific kink--one of my favorites, hair-pulling :)

( Hair-pulling! Content note for mention of rough/intense dominance play )

This is a post about kink_bingo, and how it helped me work through a lot of my feelings and interests around kink enough to begin practicing it with my physical body and in non-fannish spaces. This is absolutely only my journey and how it relates to kink_bingo and is not a comment on the things anyone else does or should get out of this community, whose members may have wildly different experiences and reasons for participating and following than I do!

( Kink_bingo and me )

I'd love some recs for kinky fanworks in comments! It doesn't have to come from kink_bingo, though it'd be cool if it does. If you feel like describing what about the fanwork appeals to you in terms of its depiction of kink, that'd be great but isn't necessary, either. A future Kinky November post will be fanwork recs, and I'd love to be able to collate recs from more sources than just myself :)

Also, anon commenting is now available on this blog, though there is a text captcha so I can avoid spam. This means you don't need a Dreamwidth account to comment.

This is just a head's-up! I want to get into the habit of posting frequently and I'm also in a place right now where I'm reflecting a lot about kink and BDSM in my life and in various kinds of art.

I'm going to try to post something to this blog every day in November. It may be a personal reflection or discussion of some kind, it may be an exploration of some event or venue of my local scene, it may be a piece of art or fiction, it may be a recommendation for a fanwork or original work that centers on some aspect of kink, it may be a book review. Heck, I'm open to hosting guest posts if anyone would like to DM or email me to discuss!

If you are interested in doing something similar, let me know and I can signal-boost your work.

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Entries tagged with kinky november

Kinky November Day 13: Pain Processing

Kinky November Day 12: Puppy Play

Kinky November Day 11: Pinterest

Kinky November Day 10: Bruises

Kinky November Day 9: Learning to Top

Kinky November Day 7 (Belated): Playing with Disabilities Book Review

Kinky November Day 6 (Belated): Kinky Vids

Kinky November Day 5: Types of Rope

Kinky November Day 4: Hair-Pulling

Kinky November Day 3: Kink_Bingo

Kinky November!

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August 2017

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