beta_vulgaris

In appreciation of really great bruises, here is a post.

So about a month ago I expressed to my partners how much I had been missing having a serious impact play session. I think lately I've been so focused on learning to top that sometimes I lose track of how centering bottoming is for me, and how beautiful I find pain and bruises. Happily, my partners are very obliging :)

I ended up doing a really fun little scene with the couple I'm seeing. J. took point on topping, which is fun because we're starting to experiment with some light domming and giving orders, which gives me an opportunity to be saucy and get 'punished' for it--everyone wins! As usual, lots of laughter and goofiness--at one point the two of them were punching me on the boobs in a syncopated rhythm with one another :) On a more recent scene we concentrated more on my ass and thighs, which is an area we tend to spend less time on, and just having a chance to compare sensations and intensities across my body has been enormously lovely.

One of my favorite parts of painplay is the aftermath. I should maybe post about pain processing another time, too, because I love that part as well! However, this is a post about enjoying one's bruises and marks.

I LOVE marks. I love how one acquires them within a scene, learning one's body, being surprised by one's body, the ones that have a lush feel to them the next day but are barely visible, the ones that make a spectacular ever-shifting set of colors, overlapped bruises, secondary bruises vs. impact for its own sake, pride in bruises, aftercare that involves inventorying them, visibility and secrecy and awkwardness about them.

So, I'll talk a little about some of that from my perspective! Please chime in if you have anecdotes to share or questions or just want to squee on the subject :) This is in no particular order or to any thesis beyond 'gosh I love bruises'.

I like bite bruises, especially when the bite goes deep and gets a bit chewy. These can leave some of the best deep tissue bruising AND usually come with some amount of color.

I love having bruises that are concealed by my everyday clothing but that flirt with that boundary. I love that sense of having to work to keep it covered, of being mindful of it.

I love the endorphins after being warmed up, right before the heavy hitting happens. I love that feeling that I'm bigger than my skin and floating within myself, focused only on her hand or her tool.

I love the sense of being with my body that watching bruises change gives me. They cycle through their colors so beautifully! My body is amazing in its healing factor.

I really like when other people appreciate my bruises, either complimenting them or, if we're in that kind of relationship, adding to them/poking them. Related to this, the next-day bruise inventory is always fun. I love to send pics (or get them!) and share them with the person I was with.

I love the bruises that surprise you. Like, maybe they come from a rope pinching or a sharp tail of a flogger and maybe you didn't notice at first, but then they come up all bright the next day?

I love love love a heavy impact session, where everyone is focused on working up to the kind of pain that would be incredibly awful to take cold but when you're drunk on endorphins and taking care and patience to work towards it... and then it lands and you *fly*... damn. I just love pain. I love the effort it takes, and the reward stays in my muscles for *days*.

I love the pointed acquisition of bruises, of working with a top toward a goal of bringing on a really good bruise. There's something deeply fulfilling about being with a top who has learned your style and has a sense of where your limits are, of having her bring you to a place of vulnerability and *trust you* to have a strong enough sense of your own body, your pleasure, your ability to manage and channel your own pain toward a mutual goal. There's something really beautiful in the discovery of it with someone else, too, from both ends. I take so much delight in being a pain slut, lol, and I am fascinated with the pain of other masochists.

Anyhow, YAY BRUISES :D