beta_vulgaris (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
beta_vulgaris) wrote2014-11-02 07:27 pm
beta_vulgaris) wrote2014-11-02 07:27 pm
Entry tags:
Kinky November Day 2: Self-Bondage pt.1
I'm going to cheat and chunk this up into a few posts, because it's actually a big topic.
I do a lot of self-bondage with rope at home. I use it as a stress-relief, a way to cycle my brain in a relaxed way and exercise my developing rope skills and my puzzle-game-spatial intelligence side as well.
First of all, I don't recommend using solo bondage as a space in which to test yourself with extreme physical situations. I always leave at least one hand free, and I set my safety scissors within reach (I have several around, and one always with me in my rope bag). I never wrap rope in a way that it could slip up onto my neck, generally avoiding any lines above my shoulders at all.
I like to set little games up for myself. Try that ladder tie on my legs, then see if I can squirm out of it! Basically that's the game and I'm getting better at making sure I lose. This game helps show me specifically how particular tensions, turns, wraps, etc work on the body, where the angles and forms of (my) body maintain or collapse the rope as I've initially laid it, and I know better than to do that next time. It's a dorky game and I end up with rope marks and a stupid grin.
At one of the first sessions of the Hitchin Bitches (a peer-workshopping rope group for people who identify in some way as women, whatever that means to them), one of the group's leaders explained her approach to doing rope in a way that really resonated for me. I use this concept in most of my rope, but particularly in self-bondage.
She said that she thinks of various rope techniques as building blocks, which can be adapted to many different uses and combined in different ways once you gain facility with them. Like building blocks! The book I use most often for reference teaches techniques in this way--I hate to recommend it because it uses only skinny conventionally attractive women as models but the organizational approach of the book really works for how my brain works, so I do use it. The books are Complete Shibari vol.1: Land and Complete Shibari vol.2: Sky, both by Douglas Kent. I'll talk about the various rope books and resources I use in a future post.
So, here's the cuff I usually use, called the Somerville Bowline.
This tie can be tied on any "column"--often this means a wrist or ankle, but nothing is stopping you from putting it on a thigh, arm, even a torso.
Another piece I often use particularly in self-bondage, because it's fun and relaxing, is the futumomo or ladder tie. Here's a basic version:
I like to use self-bondage as a time to practice technique but also let myself play and improvise. One of the highest compliments I have ever received from one of my rope bottoms is that I'm good at improv. I don't feel stuck in particular modes, rules, traditions (though I do my best to respect those traditions and practitioners, it's just a different goal than what I have for rope). I value spontaneity, creativity, and rope that has practical and surprising effects.
I often tie things 'wrong' when I am alone and then engage with things that way (within bounds of safety!). I have discovered a lot of ways to do, say, an easy yet secure chest harness on myself that looks pretty (many traditionally taught chest harnesses put a lot of the working parts on the bottom's back, which is fine for partnered rope but is super hard for me to do on myself!), and ties that have few knots on the back so they are comfortable to lie down on, lots of little tricks.
It also helps me avoid the ~cult of perfection~ which I struggle against in so many areas of my life.
Okay, the next self-bondage post will include pics I take of some of my own practice!
I do a lot of self-bondage with rope at home. I use it as a stress-relief, a way to cycle my brain in a relaxed way and exercise my developing rope skills and my puzzle-game-spatial intelligence side as well.
First of all, I don't recommend using solo bondage as a space in which to test yourself with extreme physical situations. I always leave at least one hand free, and I set my safety scissors within reach (I have several around, and one always with me in my rope bag). I never wrap rope in a way that it could slip up onto my neck, generally avoiding any lines above my shoulders at all.
I like to set little games up for myself. Try that ladder tie on my legs, then see if I can squirm out of it! Basically that's the game and I'm getting better at making sure I lose. This game helps show me specifically how particular tensions, turns, wraps, etc work on the body, where the angles and forms of (my) body maintain or collapse the rope as I've initially laid it, and I know better than to do that next time. It's a dorky game and I end up with rope marks and a stupid grin.
At one of the first sessions of the Hitchin Bitches (a peer-workshopping rope group for people who identify in some way as women, whatever that means to them), one of the group's leaders explained her approach to doing rope in a way that really resonated for me. I use this concept in most of my rope, but particularly in self-bondage.
She said that she thinks of various rope techniques as building blocks, which can be adapted to many different uses and combined in different ways once you gain facility with them. Like building blocks! The book I use most often for reference teaches techniques in this way--I hate to recommend it because it uses only skinny conventionally attractive women as models but the organizational approach of the book really works for how my brain works, so I do use it. The books are Complete Shibari vol.1: Land and Complete Shibari vol.2: Sky, both by Douglas Kent. I'll talk about the various rope books and resources I use in a future post.
So, here's the cuff I usually use, called the Somerville Bowline.
This tie can be tied on any "column"--often this means a wrist or ankle, but nothing is stopping you from putting it on a thigh, arm, even a torso.
Another piece I often use particularly in self-bondage, because it's fun and relaxing, is the futumomo or ladder tie. Here's a basic version:
I like to use self-bondage as a time to practice technique but also let myself play and improvise. One of the highest compliments I have ever received from one of my rope bottoms is that I'm good at improv. I don't feel stuck in particular modes, rules, traditions (though I do my best to respect those traditions and practitioners, it's just a different goal than what I have for rope). I value spontaneity, creativity, and rope that has practical and surprising effects.
I often tie things 'wrong' when I am alone and then engage with things that way (within bounds of safety!). I have discovered a lot of ways to do, say, an easy yet secure chest harness on myself that looks pretty (many traditionally taught chest harnesses put a lot of the working parts on the bottom's back, which is fine for partnered rope but is super hard for me to do on myself!), and ties that have few knots on the back so they are comfortable to lie down on, lots of little tricks.
It also helps me avoid the ~cult of perfection~ which I struggle against in so many areas of my life.
Okay, the next self-bondage post will include pics I take of some of my own practice!